"Asian women never usually speak back!" Part I

As you may have heard, a young girl was gang raped in Delhi, India on a bus and has passed away in Singapore where she was being treated for the severe injuries inflicted upon her.
Having read and followed this story, it has deeply moved me and it hurts me that such atrocities even take place - it's even worse that nothing is ever done to help the victims nor is justice rarely brought upon the culprits. And it is not only in Asia, Africa, Latin America where rape crimes rarely result in justice - it is even here in the UK.
It has made an impression on me because she was 23 years old - not much older than myself - and that she never received any justice. She was someone's daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, niece, maybe even an auntie but this is always overlooked in the minds of rapists, criminals and those who are out to hurt others.
There was another case of a young girl in Patiala, Punjab where she too was raped - instead of the police helping her, they pressured her to accept a financial sum or to marry one of her attackers. She was a 17 year old girl and as a result of that pressure, killed herself.
Is this really what the value of life has come to? A cheap bag of notes cannot erase the pain nor can it ever make the victim feel as they were before the ordeal. It is the ultimate invasion of privacy and it is soul destroying.
A lot of people have been making comments on the treatment, perception and general attitude towards women in the Middle East, south Asia and other parts of the world. I have read comments that are purely evil and full of racist waffle (as ever) to ones of despair calling for women to be regarded and treated with more respect in those parts of the world. What they seem to forget is that a much needed change in the attitudes of men is important, especially as in certain cultures it is very male orientated and dominated by them. I know that in parts of Africa that rape is considered "normal".
I recently watched a documentary with one of my friends about the police in various countries and their response/attitude towards rape. I was stunned (in a bad way!) to their responses which varied from:
"If a girl is in a car full of men, she is asking to be raped. She is a loose character."
"If a girl is dancing in a club wearing a dress, she is inviting men to rape her."
"The girl was wearing make-up and perfume; she provokes men into raping her. It is her fault."

Naturally, this really hacked me off - what is the solution? Do we blanket-wrap women from head to toe in a sack and then let them go outside? That's unrealistic; I personally do not believe that modesty has anything to do with someone (man or woman) being raped. It has nothing to do with how much make-up a woman wears nor what type of clothing she wears; if an individual can conceive the thought of: "I'm going to rape that person" - there is something fundamentally wrong with the mentality and attitude of that person; not the victim. It is about time that authorities and society stopped blaming the victim and began to tackle the perpetrators as they are the root of this problem.
And also I firmly believe that we should teach girls self-respect, confidence and instill a belief in them that "You are fine the way you are. You should not feel scared to go out in public or be educated. There is no shame in being an educated woman. Be strong, be fearless, be a woman who will one day become a mother who will bring up strong, respectful children who are conscientious, tolerant, kind and will be part of a new generation. "

Shera di Kaum

So today  I am pleased to say that it's the end of term and that I handed in my work on time - in spite of feeling and looking like death warmed up. I am also glad to report that I'm on the mend and will be back to my zany old self soon. What better way to "celebrate" by doing an unusual second blog in a week!?

Now not only did I discover that I'm apparently the Queen of Procrastination - I have to admit...I did Google search quite a few weird things (green eggs and ham, Alsatian puppies, pumpkin designs, motivational songs and random celebrities) - but in my quest to avoid doing anything but my work and allowing my illness to take over all sense, I stumbled across a few politically challenged websites.
I don't get angry when I read them because the claims are just so unfounded, ridiculous and exaggerated that it makes me laugh. It makes me laugh even more when many of my friends jump on the bandwagon and think that they're being "social activists" by agreeing to this opinion and "liking" a ton of politically charged pages and links on Facebook manned by bitter beings who really have lost the plot and need to spend a day picking flowers. (My surveillance skills come in handy once again.)

I've never really blogged on this type of issue because I don't know what reaction will come of it, but at the same time it's been niggling me for years and really really annoying me because it just has. And I've had enough.
The reason why it bothers me is because it involves my ethnicity and people of the same ethnic group.
Now I'm Punjabi and I am proud of where my family hails from, but at the same time we're not a perfect bunch. I hate the way that Punjabis are depicted in Bollywood films.
We're generally portrayed as fun-loving, jolly,life and soul of the party - so far so good because that part is true. But at the same, we're presented as border-line alcoholics who are lary, loud-mouthed, womanising, thuggish people who fight like beasts over land disputes and are either built like the brown version of the Incredible Hulk or the Desi version of the Michelin Man.
Whilst this boosts the ego of some, it's a pretty broad generalisation to make. And a damning one at that.
I mean, some Punjabis are miserable little creatures *cough me* and whilst it is true that we are a generally jolly bunch of people, we don't seem to realise that the booze culture we have is our downfall.
In Punjabi culture, it's considered a feat if you can out-drink your buddies (good now, but watch how your liver pickles later). In my family, I've got uncles like that and trust me, it is so embarrassing. You actually can't take them out anywhere (never know what'll happen once they're "accidentally at the bar").
Yet the irony is this: religions in Punjab (the main ones) all tell us not to drink alcohol, but what does our culture tell us? ""Drink veer-ji, drink! Don't worry about tomorrow. Live for tonight. Be a true Punjabi with your glassy."
It's a face palm moment. Such a violent face palm, you end up with a nosebleed.

Another issue I have beef with, (pardon the pun as I'm a Hindu) is that the word Punjabi is now synonymous with being a Sikh. Now, before everyone gets their knickers in a twist, I know that the population of Sikh Punjabis vastly outnumbers Hindus, Christians etc in the region. I also have the utmost respect for them and have a lot of Sikhs in my own family. But it does not mean that one's identity as a Sikh, Hindu, Christian or Muslim should be confused with being Punjabi.  I wish people wouldn't confuse their religion with culture because this is where all the problems start.

I just despair at what has happened the original Punjabi spirit where everyone respected each other regardless of religion, cared for one another and were friends purely because they shared a vibrant. strong, beautiful culture and language.
I wish that young people today would just take a step back and put things into perspective and realise how much they have to lose if they give into these rifts, embittered people who vent about silly things - yes they are stupid in the grand scheme of things. We don't seem to realise this, forget race/ethnic groups, but we truly are the ones who can make a positive change so that our children and grandchildren grow up without backward, Orthodox thinking that stops progression.
We need to stop bringing up events of the past (no matter how grim, bloody or emotionally wrenching) into our present generation because it is messing us up and distorting us both mentally and identity-wise. And the sad thing is that, an overwhelmingly large number of young people don't realise this because they've been sucked into the propaganda that these embittered, angry, spiritually dead and unfulfilled people churn out.

Don't believe everything you read. Do some digging around and make sure this claim is true. Question it and listen to your gut feeling.

Oxygen Thieves

I'm writing this blog as a sick person today - gastric flu and sinusitis are a lethal combination and my body is  taking a serious battering.
Normally I don't dedicate a post to a specific person but I've decided to go for it today. I'm all drugged up on medication and I guess that doesn't really help. Cue: this.

Now, I don't take kindly to people who just walk in and out of my life when it suits them - I'm sure many people don't. And especially when it's after months of not speaking to me despite my efforts to maintain contact, talk to them but get no response. Then they bleat: "Wow, I see uni has changed you so much!"
Well actually no: I've grown up a bit more and it's the other person's fault for missing out on this step in my development as a person. Maybe I'm playing the blame-game, but in all honesty if the avenue for contact is there: use it!
Don't turn up in someone's 10 months later bleating a sorry case about a load of rubbish. It doesn't wash me or many other people who've been in this situation.
I always believe that changes in a person, should in theory, be for the best. However, I'm well aware that some changes make people worse than they were before.

This person in particular, has recently got married and I am truly happy for him (sounds like I'm not, but I am) because once upon a time, we were good friends and even though his behaviour has been stupid, I respect the memory of that friendship.
I understand that it's a big step: you know, the compromises, changing for that person, the honeymoon period, work, a house - it's a lot and it's a serious situation. I get it, but don't walk in and out of someone's life when it suits you because it hurts the other person. And to be honest, I don't this person has realised how much it's hurt me: I value my friends and hate losing them or saying goodbye to them, but in some situations you have to let go for your sake.
I personally believe that losing a friend, is painful and it's on a par with a break-up in a relationship because you really do open up to your friends and when it all ends, it's a shock. At least for me it is.
I'll always keep that avenue of friendship open, but there's only so much you can do and ultimately it's a two way thing and much of the work has to be done by the other person.

"Ain't nobody fresher then ma clique!" Yeah yeah....

For once it's a sunny day but don't be fooled - it's damn cold out there!
I walked out of my flat this morning wrapped up for Arctic-like conditions (have you seen the weather lately?) and when I saw the sun shining, I thought: "For God's sake..."
On my way home from campus - when I decided NOT to wear a scarf, that's when the sub-zero like wind hit me. Nice...
I was channeling my inner gangster (I'm south London, watch yo step!) with all kinds of rap earlier, so I'm in a bit of a bad-ass kinda mood. And plus, I feel a bit lary.
The reason I've picked this topic is because of observations I've made on my fellow human beings and a comment that one of my good friends said to me yesterday: "huge groups of people....cliquey"
In true Scribbler style, I mused it over and was thinking of what to do for my weekly blog: cue light bulb.

I'm not gunna lie, it's something I think every single one of us encounters at some point in our lives.
You know what I mean;  the bitchy group of girls in secondary school, the popular "pretty" girls that hang out together and sneer at us normal beings, the guys that brag about banging every girl in school/uni and have a "secret code name" for their little group (they think it's cool but honestly: stop it now), the collective community who hang out together but really just bitch and backbite about each other in secret.
It's a bit like a toned down version of Jeremy Kyle-meets-Made-in-Chelsea.

It makes me laugh and feel a sense of pity - funny emotions to put next to each other, but tragedy and comedy are often placed next to each other so it kinda works.
I laugh because they're so pathetic: yeah stick with your clique for now, but when you need to enter the big world you're going to be alone. And where will your fellow brothers/bretherin be? Probably nowhere judging by the tumbleweed that passes by you.
It's almost like a herd of sheep that follow each other no matter what; even if Sheep #1 falls off the hill and drowns in a lake. Look! Down go all the sheep!*
I also feel a sense of pity (not too much!) because they clearly do not have a strong enough sense of identity to go out, be confident in themselves to do things by themselves. Instead they're consumed by their insecurity and fear of being left alone or maybe just not wanted by anyone, that they conform to this clique even if it is against the grain of their nature as a person.
I think secondary school and university (and life in general) are spaces where you start your journey in creating who will you become in later years. If you  become a Siamese twin to a clique/group/whatever you want to call it, you lose out on that golden opportunity to start this journey or at least start thinking about it.
I think it also blurs and destroys your unique perception of things; you're always going to have your views smeared by the clique's opinion. You don't create anything for yourself that is truly individual and tailored to you as a person.
It's also a sign of immaturity; it's so secondary school type thinking: "Oh my God, if I want to be socially accepted or considered cool (what exactly defines this?) I have to hang with so-and-so"
Unfortunately, I am aware that this is something that continues into later life but why not break the habit now?

ARRRGH! Grow up! And man up as well! Be proud of who you are on your own and stop being sheep (no matter how cute they look)

*No sheep were actually harmed in the creation of this post.*

Wicked Games

So it's another grey, miserable rainy day - again, this seems to be a recurring theme whenever I decide to do a blog - however, this time my hair's safe for now!
My hair 1 - 0 Rain
Today's title comes from The Weeknd's song "Wicked Games" which is easily one of the best tracks I've ever heard and with a lot of his songs, it just captures your mood perfectly. If you've not heard of the song, you must listen to it and his other stuff!

The song reminds me of a recent love that backfired badly and was probably the worst. But it taught me a lot and I'm grateful for that side of it.
It was the one-sided, I'll-give-you-all-of-myself-and-do-anything-for-you type loves. And in return what you get is what I can only describe as a middle finger back at your raw emotions and a kicking when you eventually are thrown aside.
I call it a love because well...without sounding cliché, he was the only person I'd ever cared about properly and the only person I allowed to enter my emotions; we had both grown up without a parent and for me, it was a relief to find someone else who knew exactly how that pain feels, how that emptyness manages to engulf you and how much it affects you.
Now I'm one of these people who doesn't really give second chances, but the number of chances I gave to this guy was unbelievable. It was the whole "Oh but he'll change for me" mentality and hope that he used to feed me. Certain men don't change for anyone; it doesn't matter how many times you cry, scream, beg and plead with them. You end up doing stupid things to try make them happy, without realising how much you're cutting into your soul and destroying yourself.
It wasn't until he left (conveniently) that I realised how much I'd hurt myself by trying to make him "happy" and he'd swanned away unscathed.
It took me months to try and forget about him; I was in misery for months. It hurts when the other person falls out of love with you.
I know that when someone leaves you, the emotional surge hits you like a train and its those scars that never quite manage to heal up which remain with you. The months of agony where part of you hates the other's guts but the other part where you're desperately crying out for them and almost wanting the bad times to return simply because you just want the good times come with that.
But then you realise - this takes a while, a long time in my case - that it's not worth having the times that emotionally killed you just for a few brief moments of smiling, kisses and cuddles. It's the pain that you remember the most and the number of times they tried to break you.

No one is worth going back to, especially if the pain that they caused makes you extra suspicious of people's intentions and wary of being involved with anyone else.
I guess they'd have to be pretty damn special if you go back to them and they actually change.

SlumGods.

I'm typing up this blog on a grey, rainy day which is making me regret the decision I made to wash my hair.
This always happens! The day after I wash my hair, it rains. And for those of you with curly hair, I'm sure you feel my pain!
For those who are wondering; my birthday was amazing and for the first time, I sat looking at my family content and appreciating all of the crazy characters that sat around the table. I felt a sense of pride that after everything the past 7 years, we're united and still love each other so much; we're still a force to be reckoned with.

Today I was doing my usual reading stuff online, surveillance on FB (aka. stalking) and drinking tea when I came across a play on words: "SlumGods, cuz we were never dogs."
It struck a chord with me. It sounds stupid coming from an English Lit student, but I never really carefully considered the film title's words. To call someone a "dog" is hardly a compliment; it indicates inequality, dehumanisation and belittlement. I also interpreted it in terms of race and it reminded me of the colonial past in India and other previous colonies.  Now in any state that was previously a colony, it's generally interpreted as a scar in that country's history. That scar carries the suffering and the pain of the people living during those times. The word "dog" in this context just reminded me of the social divide created on the basis of one's skin complexion - white skin equating to a higher social status and darker skin being indicative of a lowly, sub-human status; perhaps a dog?

What I love about the phrase: "SlumGods" is that there's a reversal of the previous paragraph; those very same people have been elevated, given worth, value, love and appreciation. It removes the "them and us" notion and empowers that group of people.
It reminds us of the value that is present in life; to live is a privilege and beyond any materialistic goods.
Think of all the babies that are still-born, who don't reach 3 years old or die of complicated reasons or a horrible illness. Life is gift and we do not value it enough. To be born and being lucky enough to celebrate your birthday is a privilege.
All the "YOLO-ing" and hedonist lifestyles - sure if that's your thing, go for it - kinda contradicts with what I'm trying to say.

 I've never liked Frankie Boyle's film "Slumdog Millionaire" because it focuses on one area of India and in my opinion it doesn't address issues properly.
I mean, it's common knowledge that there's a LOT of corruption in India, an overwhelmingly sickening level of poverty, the ridiculous outdated caste system, gender inequality, the killing of baby girls, discrimination on the basis of complexion etc.  What irritates me is that no one is doing much to address these issues, trying to change attitudes so that the next generation of kids are better, more progressive and pioneering than the previous one. And those who are trying to do so are smacked back into "their place" by corrupt forces in power.

Since the film came out, various white friends now think that they know everything about India...when they don't. They don't even know about or appreciate the beauty of North India, the heritage of the South and one thing that the film overlooks is the richness and vibrancy that exists in Indian culture regardless of regions.
No matter where you are from, what the colour of your skin is, what language you speak, what religion you follow or not, what your culture is and your identity, it's your worth as a human being that matters.

Chipped nail varnish and grazed knees

Wow it's been a while since I've written on here!  Truth be told, final year at uni has taken over my young life.
Assignments, extra reading, more reading, research, more reading and the dreaded D-word (aka my dissertation)
Life's been alright too; Obama's back for another 4 years so the world's safe-ish for now and I'm drinking a nice cuppa tea. But seriously, it's been a shock settling into third year. Been down for a while now and well I'm on the mend - so I thought I'd return to this!
I was in the kitchen earlier washing up (like a good Indian girl) and I started to think about things in general.

This weekend I hit the big 21 (Sunday for those interested) and it dawned on me that by July I will leave the uni bubble to enter into "the real world." 

It scared me. A bit. 

I kinda got away with branding myself as "Twen-teen" for a whole year because I guess I was in complete denial about growing up and wasn't ready to leave my teenhood.
For older people reading this, I can understand if you're screaming at your laptop/PC screen: "Whaaat!? You're so young, and young people don't go through mid-life crises etc!!"
Fair play. We don't have wrinkles, complications of a family, consideration of plastic surgery or botox YET, but it is overwhelming for us and to be fair, I feel like an old woman sometimes haha!

One of the reasons why we feel increasingly overwhelmed is because there's more pressure on us today than before. Now I'm not saying that previous generations didn't have it hard; everyone does.
There's just a lot more competition today, more human beings and it doesn't help that the economy has gone pants up.
Also, most of us have no idea what we want to do.
It made me laugh because back in primary school, we used to talk about what we wanted to be when we grew up and the imagination of our childhood is incredible:
"A policeman!"
"A princess!"
"A fireman!"
Me: "Prime Minister!" (please don't ask, I was a weird one)

Obviously I don't want to be the PM because I realised that it's a dirty game, my grandmother would probably slap me for making bad decisions and well....just not for me.
From experience, most Indian kids are told to become a doctor, dentist (good luck with bad breath), engineer, teacher, mother, lawyer etc. I kinda...bucked the trend and decided against doing a traditional degree for which I did get a lot of stick for.
I got away with it, but now all the questions are firing at me left, right and centre:
"Will you go into teaching?" - It's a last resort.
"Errr...what job will you get??" - No idea, life's a gamble.
"You won't get anywhere with that degree!" - Really? Watch.
So understandably, I have a lot to prove (which worries me a bit).  My friends and I have gone through the endless alternate life plans, become a gold digger, get a sugar daddy - all the sleazy stuff we joke about but will never do.
When I figure out a vague idea of what to do, I'll def get back to you on that.
Happy writing :)

Angry Young Women.

Happy Saturday  Thank you for reading my last entry and hope you've all been well. I know I said I wouldn't blog again, but I can't help myself.

Today I'm in a very vicious mood; I'm fed up, sick and tired of a LOT things right now. And yes, that also includes revision as well as many other things. Certain people.
I'm not going to name and shame (though I am soo tempted to, but they know exactly who they are and they read this blog too!) This person has made me sick to the back of my teeth. From openly staring at other women when we're together (in a certain kind of way), to making sly digs about my hair and the way I look. Yes I'm Indian with very curly hair - get over it!
I mean like: bitch please: the way I look is what got me my job!
  It ties into an entry I did earlier (So what's eating you?) and I realise that people really aren't going to change.
No matter how angry we get, how much we cry or beg or how much they hurt us. They're so thick they can't see sh*t through their clouded eyes.
Oh well, we live and learn.

I've entitled this entry "Angry Young Women" because admittedly I am one of these specimens of human life that is becoming more and more common. I'm aware that what I'm about to write about can be interpreted badly and some people take it to heart. If you're one of those people, I'd advise you to stop reading right about now.
What's really aggravating me is something called "Perspective." When I say that, I don't mean some arty farty stuff. I mean how people view each other, how we see things and react to them/people.

I've been described quite often as a "strong woman", who is "opinionated", headstrong, feisty...blah blah. But whenever this has been said to me, there's always been a negative connotation behind it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bully or someone who belittles people. I've been brought up by my dad who has constantly told me to never run with the herd, be myself, become a success, has encouraged me to run for activities that will improve my self-confidence and do everything in my power to achieve my dreams.
As a result, I've got no problem with public speaking, I'm very confident when I speak, I've formed my own opinions about a lot of things, I know exactly what I want and how I go about it.
I've noticed that a lot of men feel very threatened by women who have their own mind, are strong, independent, ambitious and can generally hold their own ground. The assumption made about women who run their own business, are in Politics or hold a very high up position in various corporations is that they're either man-eaters, anti-men, scary or just very threatening. They're made to feel that something is wrong with them.
I'll give you an example to clarify my point further. I have an aunt; she's bright, smart, pretty and holds a very good job working for a reputable company. Her whole life she's been told to study hard, work hard, get a degree and get a good job. So she's done all of this and in the process has developed herself into a strong young woman. She lives the kind of lifestyle so many of us aspire to and dream about.
But now, she's reached the age where my family are telling her to get married etc. What's the problem?
No guy wants to marry her because she's got "too much." Errm what is that supposed to mean?

It's like unless women look and behave a certain way, they don't really get a look in romance-wise.
And yes, I blame a lot of the Walt Disney films we used to watch when we were little. Yes, I love Disney films but watch them back: there's a lot of subliminal messages in them.
Eg: Beauty and the Beast, the Beast was an ugly, hideous creature inside and out but he scored Belle purely because he had money - forget true love's kiss, we all know that it doesn't exist. Let's be real, people who are that callous,grumpy and mean do not get the ladies unless they live in a castle and have cash to flash.
Also look how every Disney princess is: she's often helpless when the male protagonist comes "to her rescue" I mean, I might be analysing this a little too much but what does that say about women? It does imply that we can't solve things by ourselves.
Another one: that somehow there is a Prince Charming out there for every woman - cool story bro.

What are we supposed to do?
Women who end up having successful careers are often told when they're young to work hard, get their good job, earn their own good salary, drive a good car, get their own place and build their life.
I don't know  how applicable this is to other women, but I know for quite a few Asian girls, the second our families tell us to get married to "a nice Indian boy" we're supposed to kinda give all of that up and become a "good Indian wife" unless the guy is a reasonably modern, Western type man.
Unfortunately there's a lot of traditional guys out there who expect British Asian girls to become the traditional housewives, wait on them hand and foot and depend on them. If we don't behave like that, boy we're in for a very difficult time indeed. It makes me sick.

If these guys do have a "sense of reality that is their own": it is evidently somewhat warped.  It's important for them to realise that being a first generation, second or third British ethnic minority person is different to what the women in their family or ones they've been exposed to are like.
For a start, the demographics have changed. Times have changed, women are being encouraged to go out in the world and encouraged to make something of themselves: become go-getters and build a good career for ourselves.
When we do this, we get called intimidating, threatening, overly ambitious, ruthless, cold, unfeeling women who are trying to be like men. And on top of that, we have our families nagging for us to get married a.s.a.p before we're "too old."
This is nonsense. There is nothing wrong with women who want this and actually achieve this. Actually, I would prefer it if all girls could be like this and have that mentality instead of wanting to become WAGs, glamour models and other useless careers that put all the women who fought for the right to vote, workplace and sexual equality to shame.

It's very double standard; women are supposed to swoon at the feet of rich men and this is reflected in numerous films, TV shows and music videos. You know what I mean: the minted rapper wearing an Armani suit and sunglasses surrounded by busty women wearing string bikinis on a Miami yacht swooning after him whilst he raps about how he came "from the hood" and now has babes running after him.


It doesn't send a positive message to us. And the thing is, is that we soak this up unconsciously and before we know it: we've applied it to our lives and our way of thinking without us realising it because we're so stupid.
Turn the tables and do you see a rich woman have men running after her? Not unless she's got her arse hanging out and boobies out on show- it just doesn't happen like that. If anything, women in power like that are presented as being overly bitchy, over sexed (or under) rude, ambitious and ruthless whilst powerful men are presented to us as though they're the modern-day Adonis (yes, even the wrinkly ones with saggy bellies!).


It's really annoyed me so much. And what annoys me more is that so many of us swallow these exaggerated ideas of minor, dumb people who coincidentally have pockets bursting with money. None of us are really free thinkers, nor can we even claim to be "free." It's an interesting word: "free" because it's thrown about so often without us even thinking about it. None of us are free if we really think about it and it's weird to think that such a large population is controlled by a handful of people and a few corporations.
So what's my point? Well, to be more aware that the world we live in is full of sh*t and there is immense injustice going on everywhere. Physically, mentally, emotionally - on every level you can think of.
 And to also realise that our perspective of other humans is seriously warped.

Man of the Match

Happy Tuesday  I know I said that my last blog was the "final" one, but let's be honest: This is me we're talking about and any moment to procrastinate is fully taken advantage of.

I'm in quite an emotional state right now to be honest and as this blog is about my thoughts, well here we go. Sorry if it gets a bit too deep and mushy.

 This entry is actually about someone very close to my heart. And I think is probably the most personal I've ever been on this blog so far.
I would do anything for him and whatever success I get in the future, is all because of him.


You were the first one to hold me,
Give me my first feed,
Kiss my chubby cheeks and smile when my fingers curled around your pinky tightly.
Refusing to let you go and leave.
I think that was the first sign that we'd always be a team. 
You held my hands and laughed when I began to crawl. 

You smiled when I began to stand and anxiously stood behind me when I started to walk,

Terrified that I would walk into the door or fall over.

You answered my questions in baby speak; you probably had no idea what I was saying.

Your hugs protect me from the pain, the rain and stop my world from falling apart.

When yours fell apart, I caught you in the same way and will never let  you collapse,

You are the strongest person I know and without you I am nothing. 

Forget what others say; they don't know you. 

Forget how much pain others have put you through,

One day you will smile and hold your head high

While theirs will be lowered and miserable.

And as always

Your baby tiger will be there. 

 I'm aware that so many people don't have a father in their lives, may even hate their dad for various reasons, or don't know who their father is.
I've been very lucky to have someone like him to be my father - I know all too common that many people feel that their father is an imposing figure or can't build a relationship with him.
I guess instead of a mum, I got a superman father to be both and I'm grateful that I stayed with him and my grandma.
 (Maybe I should do an entry on my grandma, she's a brill source of entertainment and timeless jokes/quotes)

I realise that this entry is very random, but I just felt the need to it.
If you're a student supposed to be studying/revising for your exams, you know what to do.
Get back to work.

First World Problems

Happy Tuesday!   I thought I'd do a blog before the wave of revision hits me. Thought I'd include some funny and interesting images.  

 So today, I read an article from the Daily Mail. It's been floating about on Facebook, Twitter etc and I  shared it with a couple of my friends (for laughs). Then decided to vent my views onto my blog as always. ;)

 It was by someone called Samantha Brick - I'd never heard of this woman until today and have resolved to never ever read anything she writes! Not only is she a journalist, but also a "high-flying" TV executive producer with a "six-figure salary" 

I thought: "Ok good on her, a successful woman, maybe she's written a heart felt, moving piece about a woman who has a self esteem issue. Let's see what this is about."
Little did I know, is that she is the woman with a self esteem issue, serious visual impairment and need of larger doors in her house to allow her ridiculously inflated head to fit through.
This my readers,  is a major case of First World Problems.

The article is humbly entitled:
"There are downsides to looking this pretty. Women hate me for being beautiful."


Here's the link, have a read: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html

  

Great way to kick off an article right? I firstly thought: That's vain... But I decided to give it the benefit of doubt. It could have been about one of these women who has am unusual type of beauty or something like that. The headline itself is problematic - it indirectly groups women into a category of being jealous, beauty-hating gargoyles who dislike each other. This isn't entirely true, beauty means different things to different people and from what I've noticed: it's how you carry yourself, how you speak, your attitude that makes other click or turn away from you.
So I clicked. I'll be honest. I was expecting to see an unknown model, a quirky looking actress, someone like Scarlett Johansson, a potential Miss World competitor.
My jaw hit the keyboard (in a shocked way!) when her picture showed up, as I thought: "Huh?"

• It's a well known fact that according to science, beautiful people or at least photogenic people have symmetrical features. 

She has wonky teeth, an unsymmetrical face, virtually no lips, weird eyebrow shape and isn't very photogenic.  Bitchiness aside, she honestly is your average woman with a bit of slap on her face.
Some of my readers may disagree and say: "Actually, she's quite pretty and stop being such a b*tch."
Ok, we're all entitled to our own opinion. So I got over the initial "What the..." moment and read it.
I swear to God, with each line I found myself laughing at this woman!

Miss Brick then goes on to say how the "sisterhood of women" should be supporting her and not being "jealous" because she is such a beautiful woman.

 Let me clear something up about how the majority of women work: -
Women, in general, are by nature jealous and vain creatures (let's not kid ourselves) but when we see a woman who is truly beautiful - inside and outside - we do support her provided that she is decent, not up herself and is a kind, genuine person.


What women do NOT support is an egoistical, self-absorbed, arrogant, attention seeking person who sucks up for compliments.
Every single day, we are bombarded with airbrushed images of what women (and men now) should look like:

You should be tall, you should be slim, you should have lighter skin, you should have delicate features, you should have straighter hair because curly, ethnic hair is not beautiful. You should also have sky-high legs, dainty wrists, massive breasts, tiny waist and smaller hips...
When will this stop!?


It's bad enough that these images and mentalities are flying about in the public domain, but to have this article  being posted online? This just...oh I don't know...from where I'm sitting, I think it was a VERY bad decision.

And from what I've heard: the poor woman is getting a ton of abuse from people worldwide. I can't entirely sympathise with her; it's similar to blogging. If you're going to put a controversial article/blog on the Internet, it is going to get read and if it infuriates enough people then yes...they will tell you!
Different cultures, different people view beauty in different ways.  For me: I don't consider her to be a beautiful woman because I see beauty in a different light to what she considers to be beautiful. I felt that at the time of publishing, Samantha probably felt that it was a great idea (you know in that empowering Beyoncé diva-like mood) but I felt it was a very naive article to write and publish.
Beauty is a very subjective thing. It's also very vague - just look around at how different make up and fashion magazines try to fit their ideas of beauty onto us.

Sometimes I look around and think: "God what has happened to us?" I switch on my TV and programmes like Snog, Marry, Avoid (which is hilarious), ilk about Katie Price and the crew from TOWIE, Jersey Shore, Desperate Scousewives etc are being put out in the public sphere.
It's all for profit of course and for a few simpletons to get 45 minutes of public airtime, a sack of money and a bunch of paparazzi to stalk them. But they don't realise how much it's damaging a generation of kids, young men and women's relationship with their self esteem, self-worth, confidence and physical appearance.
It upsets and annoys me so much that as a group of people who are susceptible to this are not doing anything about it! We just keep getting sucked into this whirlpool of plastic fantastic and false glamour without struggling.
 Having read this pointless article that annoyed myself and provided a considerable amount of entertainment, I sat back thinking. One thought crossed my mind:

 Why would you do this to yourself?? -  do you not have a shred of self respect or dignity? I always have found that the most beautiful women are the ones who are modest, kind, humble and not big headed about it.
I'm still speechless (which is pretty rare) and honestly don't know what to make of the whole thing.
So...over to you :)