So what's eating you?

Happy Thursday everyone - I see it's been a month since I graced you with another one of my blogs.
I am sorry for the inconsistent flow of blogs; I've been mega busy lately.

Update: Uni life has been ok to me - if you don't count the numerous essays, annoying people, 9am starts and long hours spent in the library haha. Oh, and the stupidly noisy flat mate whom I wish to backhand severely! I've also been attending more society meetings - this is what I love about university. It's the diversity of people and opinions you encounter - it's mainly a good thing, but sometimes terrible.
Topic today: So for this blog, I've decided to write about an observation I've noticed about Asian women.
(I realise I may be walking on thin ice here) Bear in mind, this is simply my opinion and my view of what I've seen on a regular basis.
I thought I'd write about this, because last week was International Women's Day and it was a celebration of women's achievements in society, politics, economics; just about anything and everything.
As a British Indian woman who comes from an unconventional Indian family, I've started to notice certain traits that a lot of British Asian women have:
1. The obsession to straighten hair.
2. Lighter skin - I would love to find out who created this stereotype of beauty!
3. Feeling the need to be skinny - again, whoever came up with this was stupid.
4. Not breaking out and carving your own career path independently - mummy and daddy tell you what to do.
5. Follow the herd - yeah this is a really common one.

(I realise that some of my readers are American, Asian is used in the UK for those of Indian descent as well as the Far East. In this blog, I am specifically referring to those from South Asia.)


I understand that some Asian girls come from very strict families, who instruct them what to study, what job to do and what to do with their lives. I believe that we need to start branching out more; we need more Asians in politics, journalism, the media, sport and other areas like this.
I just wish that we, as a community, were braver and stronger. I wish our girls were brave enough to pursue their own career and not make decisions because "daddy said so."
What example does that set for your future children?  I mean, look at the older generation of ladies in most Asian families - these women were fighters and put up with so much more than we do.
Surely this should inspire us?

 

 I've used these 4 images to demonstrate the diversity and richness of beauty that is present among Indian women.
Note 1: Are they very skinny? Not really, they're healthy, curvy, beautiful women with stunning features.
Note 2: Are they all light skinned? No, women with darker skin are just as beautiful as light skinned Indians.

I'm going to be frank here (if you won't like this, I'd advise you to move along)
 British Asians who are light skinned behave like white people; they completely reject their roots and Anglicise themselves.  And British Asians who are very dark skinned behave like black people; hairstyles, mannerisms and similarly reject their roots. It annoys me so much so that I just give up really.
It's like: Darling, you're brown. You are the middle shade, please, be proud of it. We have colour for a reason. (Hint: it's something to do with our continent being near the Equator)
There's nothing wrong with black people or white people, but I believe that it helps to just be yourself because everyone else is taken.
We come from a beautiful culture that we should be proud of. Sadly, I feel that a lot of British Asian kids don't appreciate where they come from, are almost embarrassed to say that they are of Asian descent, embarrassed to state their religion and it's a disappointment. There is so much to be proud of.
I also feel that the Asian community is being held back; we aren't moving forward when in this day and age, we really need to be progressing. Admittedly, there are a lot of positives about the Asian community but at the same time, there are a lot of issues that we need to address.

We need to get this notion that "Lighter skin = beauty" out of our mentality - I know that's easier said than done. I have seen so many beautiful dark skinned Indian women who are branded as ugly, because they are not fair-skinned. Look how stunning the woman's eyes are (on the right hand side)

Too many people of Asian descent are using dangerous products in order to make their skin lighter. I'm not naming and shaming any brands, but these products are sold under the counter for a reason.
They contain mercury which is toxic to your skin. Some women end up with permanent scarring from using these creams, when in the first place they probably didn't even need to use them.
And it's not just Asian women who use these nut job creams - it's extended to the African-Caribbean community too.
The second point that I've got beef with is "the need to be skinny." Yet this "phenomenon" is sweeping across Western countries and has now entered Asia.
I'm not fat, but not skinny either yet I have some aunts who look at me and think:"Oh God, look how fat she is!"
Truth be told, they've even said it to my face which is hurtful. Sometimes I do feel bad when I'm stood next to a slimmer girl but at the end of the day, I'm thankful that I have good health, I'm not obese and I'm in good shape.
If you look at Asian women in general, we're not built to be very very skinny. Just look at our hip structure - particularly in Punjabi women who tend to have a slightly heavier build than other Indian women.
It's contradictory too because in Bollywood, the actresses (think Katrina Kaif, Rani Mukherjee etc) are all very curvy, shapely women yet in Asian society they seem to want very slim women.
  The desirable qualities of an Asian woman actually contradict what mainstream society dictates to us.

From reading around and looking at various articles about Asian beauty, it turns out that a typical Asian beauty has long dark hair, full lips, almond shaped eyes, generous assets, small waist, large hips and is of an average height.
Just look at the depictions of demi-goddesses, old paintings of queens centuries ago like this one:

Stark contrast to the waify creatures floating down the catwalks!
It's a funny old world that we live in...

 My message at the end of this very long blog (I am sorry for its length) is:

1. Always be true to yourself
2. Stay healthy - food is your friend, not foe.
3. Love who you are
4. Try not to cave into the pressures of others!

It won't happen overnight, I'm a living proof of that - I'm 20 and still on my journey of self-acceptance and success.
There is no time like the present to start now. It's time to be brave and face this cruel world that we live in.