Saturday 28 April 2012

Angry Young Women.

Happy Saturday  Thank you for reading my last entry and hope you've all been well. I know I said I wouldn't blog again, but I can't help myself.

Today I'm in a very vicious mood; I'm fed up, sick and tired of a LOT things right now. And yes, that also includes revision as well as many other things. Certain people.
I'm not going to name and shame (though I am soo tempted to, but they know exactly who they are and they read this blog too!) This person has made me sick to the back of my teeth. From openly staring at other women when we're together (in a certain kind of way), to making sly digs about my hair and the way I look. Yes I'm Indian with very curly hair - get over it!
I mean like: bitch please: the way I look is what got me my job!
  It ties into an entry I did earlier (So what's eating you?) and I realise that people really aren't going to change.
No matter how angry we get, how much we cry or beg or how much they hurt us. They're so thick they can't see sh*t through their clouded eyes.
Oh well, we live and learn.

I've entitled this entry "Angry Young Women" because admittedly I am one of these specimens of human life that is becoming more and more common. I'm aware that what I'm about to write about can be interpreted badly and some people take it to heart. If you're one of those people, I'd advise you to stop reading right about now.
What's really aggravating me is something called "Perspective." When I say that, I don't mean some arty farty stuff. I mean how people view each other, how we see things and react to them/people.












I've been described quite often as a "strong woman", who is "opinionated", headstrong, feisty...blah blah. But whenever this has been said to me, there's always been a negative connotation behind it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a bully or someone who belittles people. I've been brought up by my dad who has constantly told me to never run with the herd, be myself, become a success, has encouraged me to run for activities that will improve my self-confidence and do everything in my power to achieve my dreams.
As a result, I've got no problem with public speaking, I'm very confident when I speak, I've formed my own opinions about a lot of things, I know exactly what I want and how I go about it.
I've noticed that a lot of men feel very threatened by women who have their own mind, are strong, independent, ambitious and can generally hold their own ground. The assumption made about women who run their own business, are in Politics or hold a very high up position in various corporations is that they're either man-eaters, anti-men, scary or just very threatening. They're made to feel that something is wrong with them.
I'll give you an example to clarify my point further. I have an aunt; she's bright, smart, pretty and holds a very good job working for a reputable company. Her whole life she's been told to study hard, work hard, get a degree and get a good job. So she's done all of this and in the process has developed herself into a strong young woman. She lives the kind of lifestyle so many of us aspire to and dream about.
But now, she's reached the age where my family are telling her to get married etc. What's the problem?
No guy wants to marry her because she's got "too much." Errm what is that supposed to mean?

It's like unless women look and behave a certain way, they don't really get a look in romance-wise.
And yes, I blame a lot of the Walt Disney films we used to watch when we were little. Yes, I love Disney films but watch them back: there's a lot of subliminal messages in them.
Eg: Beauty and the Beast, the Beast was an ugly, hideous creature inside and out but he scored Belle purely because he had money - forget true love's kiss, we all know that it doesn't exist. Let's be real, people who are that callous,grumpy and mean do not get the ladies unless they live in a castle and have cash to flash.
Also look how every Disney princess is: she's often helpless when the male protagonist comes "to her rescue" I mean, I might be analysing this a little too much but what does that say about women? It does imply that we can't solve things by ourselves.
Another one: that somehow there is a Prince Charming out there for every woman - cool story bro.

What are we supposed to do?
Women who end up having successful careers are often told when they're young to work hard, get their good job, earn their own good salary, drive a good car, get their own place and build their life.
I don't know  how applicable this is to other women, but I know for quite a few Asian girls, the second our families tell us to get married to "a nice Indian boy" we're supposed to kinda give all of that up and become a "good Indian wife" unless the guy is a reasonably modern, Western type man.
Unfortunately there's a lot of traditional guys out there who expect British Asian girls to become the traditional housewives, wait on them hand and foot and depend on them. If we don't behave like that, boy we're in for a very difficult time indeed. It makes me sick.

If these guys do have a "sense of reality that is their own": it is evidently somewhat warped.  It's important for them to realise that being a first generation, second or third British ethnic minority person is different to what the women in their family or ones they've been exposed to are like.
For a start, the demographics have changed. Times have changed, women are being encouraged to go out in the world and encouraged to make something of themselves: become go-getters and build a good career for ourselves.
When we do this, we get called intimidating, threatening, overly ambitious, ruthless, cold, unfeeling women who are trying to be like men. And on top of that, we have our families nagging for us to get married a.s.a.p before we're "too old."
This is nonsense. There is nothing wrong with women who want this and actually achieve this. Actually, I would prefer it if all girls could be like this and have that mentality instead of wanting to become WAGs, glamour models and other useless careers that put all the women who fought for the right to vote, workplace and sexual equality to shame.

It's very double standard; women are supposed to swoon at the feet of rich men and this is reflected in numerous films, TV shows and music videos. You know what I mean: the minted rapper wearing an Armani suit and sunglasses surrounded by busty women wearing string bikinis on a Miami yacht swooning after him whilst he raps about how he came "from the hood" and now has babes running after him.


It doesn't send a positive message to us. And the thing is, is that we soak this up unconsciously and before we know it: we've applied it to our lives and our way of thinking without us realising it because we're so stupid.
Turn the tables and do you see a rich woman have men running after her? Not unless she's got her arse hanging out and boobies out on show- it just doesn't happen like that. If anything, women in power like that are presented as being overly bitchy, over sexed (or under) rude, ambitious and ruthless whilst powerful men are presented to us as though they're the modern-day Adonis (yes, even the wrinkly ones with saggy bellies!).


It's really annoyed me so much. And what annoys me more is that so many of us swallow these exaggerated ideas of minor, dumb people who coincidentally have pockets bursting with money. None of us are really free thinkers, nor can we even claim to be "free." It's an interesting word: "free" because it's thrown about so often without us even thinking about it. None of us are free if we really think about it and it's weird to think that such a large population is controlled by a handful of people and a few corporations.
So what's my point? Well, to be more aware that the world we live in is full of sh*t and there is immense injustice going on everywhere. Physically, mentally, emotionally - on every level you can think of.
 And to also realise that our perspective of other humans is seriously warped.






Tuesday 17 April 2012

Man of the Match


Happy Tuesday  I know I said that my last blog was the "final" one, but let's be honest: This is me we're talking about and any moment to procrastinate is fully taken advantage of.


I'm in quite an emotional state right now to be honest and as this blog is about my thoughts, well here we go. Sorry if it gets a bit too deep and mushy.

 This entry is actually about someone very close to my heart. And I think is probably the most personal I've ever been on this blog so far.
I would do anything for him and whatever success I get in the future, is all because of him.


You were the first one to hold me,
Give me my first feed,
Kiss my chubby cheeks and smile when my fingers curled around your pinky tightly.
Refusing to let you go and leave.
I think that was the first sign that we'd always be a team. 
You held my hands and laughed when I began to crawl. 
You smiled when I began to stand and anxiously stood behind me when I started to walk,
Terrified that I would walk into the door or fall over.
You answered my questions in baby speak; you probably had no idea what I was saying.

Your hugs protect me from the pain, the rain and stop my world from falling apart.
When yours fell apart, I caught you in the same way and will never let  you collapse,

You are the strongest person I know and without you I am nothing. 
Forget what others say; they don't know you. 

Forget how much pain others have put you through,
One day you will smile and hold your head high
While theirs will be lowered and miserable.
And as always

Your baby tiger will be there. 

 I'm aware that so many people don't have a father in their lives, may even hate their dad for various reasons, or don't know who their father is.
I've been very lucky to have someone like him to be my father - I know all too common that many people feel that their father is an imposing figure or can't build a relationship with him.
I guess instead of a mum, I got a superman father to be both and I'm grateful that I stayed with him and my grandma.
 (Maybe I should do an entry on my grandma, she's a brill source of entertainment and timeless jokes/quotes)

I realise that this entry is very random, but I just felt the need to it.
If you're a student supposed to be studying/revising for your exams, you know what to do.
Get back to work.



Tuesday 3 April 2012

First World Problems



















Happy Tuesday!   I thought I'd do a blog before the wave of revision hits me. Thought I'd include some funny and interesting images.  
 So today, I read an article from the Daily Mail. It's been floating about on Facebook, Twitter etc and I  shared it with a couple of my friends (for laughs). Then decided to vent my views onto my blog as always. ;)



 It was by someone called Samantha Brick - I'd never heard of this woman until today and have resolved to never ever read anything she writes! Not only is she a journalist, but also a "high-flying" TV executive producer with a "six-figure salary" 

I thought: "Ok good on her, a successful woman, maybe she's written a heart felt, moving piece about a woman who has a self esteem issue. Let's see what this is about."
Little did I know, is that she is the woman with a self esteem issue, serious visual impairment and need of larger doors in her house to allow her ridiculously inflated head to fit through.
This my readers,  is a major case of First World Problems.


The article is humbly entitled:
"There are downsides to looking this pretty. Women hate me for being beautiful."


Here's the link, have a read: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html

  
Great way to kick off an article right? I firstly thought: That's vain... But I decided to give it the benefit of doubt. It could have been about one of these women who has am unusual type of beauty or something like that. The headline itself is problematic - it indirectly groups women into a category of being jealous, beauty-hating gargoyles who dislike each other. This isn't entirely true, beauty means different things to different people and from what I've noticed: it's how you carry yourself, how you speak, your attitude that makes other click or turn away from you.
So I clicked. I'll be honest. I was expecting to see an unknown model, a quirky looking actress, someone like Scarlett Johansson, a potential Miss World competitor.
My jaw hit the keyboard (in a shocked way!) when her picture showed up, as I thought: "Huh?"

  • It's a well known fact that according to science, beautiful people or at least photogenic people have symmetrical features. 

She has wonky teeth, an unsymmetrical face, virtually no lips, weird eyebrow shape and isn't very photogenic.  Bitchiness aside, she honestly is your average woman with a bit of slap on her face.
Some of my readers may disagree and say: "Actually, she's quite pretty and stop being such a b*tch."
Ok, we're all entitled to our own opinion. So I got over the initial "What the..." moment and read it.
I swear to God, with each line I found myself laughing at this woman!

Miss Brick then goes on to say how the "sisterhood of women" should be supporting her and not being "jealous" because she is such a beautiful woman.
 Let me clear something up about how the majority of women work: -
Women, in general, are by nature jealous and vain creatures (let's not kid ourselves) but when we see a woman who is truly beautiful - inside and outside - we do support her provided that she is decent, not up herself and is a kind, genuine person.


What women do NOT support is an egoistical, self-absorbed, arrogant, attention seeking person who sucks up for compliments.
Every single day, we are bombarded with airbrushed images of what women (and men now) should look like:

You should be tall, you should be slim, you should have lighter skin, you should have delicate features, you should have straighter hair because curly, ethnic hair is not beautiful. You should also have sky-high legs, dainty wrists, massive breasts, tiny waist and smaller hips...
When will this stop!?


It's bad enough that these images and mentalities are flying about in the public domain, but to have this article  being posted online? This just...oh I don't know...from where I'm sitting, I think it was a VERY bad decision.

And from what I've heard: the poor woman is getting a ton of abuse from people worldwide. I can't entirely sympathise with her; it's similar to blogging. If you're going to put a controversial article/blog on the Internet, it is going to get read and if it infuriates enough people then yes...they will tell you!
Different cultures, different people view beauty in different ways.  For me: I don't consider her to be a beautiful woman because I see beauty in a different light to what she considers to be beautiful. I felt that at the time of publishing, Samantha probably felt that it was a great idea (you know in that empowering Beyoncé diva-like mood) but I felt it was a very naive article to write and publish.
Beauty is a very subjective thing. It's also very vague - just look around at how different make up and fashion magazines try to fit their ideas of beauty onto us.


Sometimes I look around and think: "God what has happened to us?" I switch on my TV and programmes like Snog, Marry, Avoid (which is hilarious), ilk about Katie Price and the crew from TOWIE, Jersey Shore, Desperate Scousewives etc are being put out in the public sphere.
It's all for profit of course and for a few simpletons to get 45 minutes of public airtime, a sack of money and a bunch of paparazzi to stalk them. But they don't realise how much it's damaging a generation of kids, young men and women's relationship with their self esteem, self-worth, confidence and physical appearance.
It upsets and annoys me so much that as a group of people who are susceptible to this are not doing anything about it! We just keep getting sucked into this whirlpool of plastic fantastic and false glamour without struggling.
 Having read this pointless article that annoyed myself and provided a considerable amount of entertainment, I sat back thinking. One thought crossed my mind:

 Why would you do this to yourself?? -  do you not have a shred of self respect or dignity? I always have found that the most beautiful women are the ones who are modest, kind, humble and not big headed about it.
I'm still speechless (which is pretty rare) and honestly don't know what to make of the whole thing.
So...over to you :)