The Naked Truth

I came across this article last week: prepare yourself. Initially, I wasn't sure whether it was being serious or just a joke. Turns out, it's very serious. There are so many things that are wrong with this product I don't really know where to begin. Firstly, it confirms my belief that we are all, more or less, obsessed with the female naked body and how to make it more desirable to ourselves and others.
This is my beef with the hairy tights - they are telling us that having body hair is "ugly" and that a woman with hairy legs is "unnatural." This is wholly untrue as human beings are covered in body hair making it, in fact, very natural.  The craze for smooth, shaven or waxed limbs and body parts is a recent phenomenon thanks to an infamous advert in Harpers Bazaar in 1915 Fast forward to today: we have J-Lo strutting her stuff for Venus razor blades, an image of a woman's smooth legs going viral as fellow women gasp at their "smoothness" in the latest Veet advert. The anti-body hair surge has exploded in the last decade with the American hair removal industry being valued at around $2.1bn in 2011 with the UK's hair removal industry estimated at a similar value.
It's hard to imagine that a pair of stockings can cause such a reaction. Why should women have to dress a certain way so that they don't have to be made to feel vulnerable whilst they are out in public? It only fuels the idea that: "women have to look a certain way to be considered attractive" and that only "sexy" women get raped or sexually harassed. Wrong: rape and sexual attacks are not about desire and can happen to anyone - male or female. It is about control and power. The product's USP declares itself as a 'practical fashion item'  - rubbish. If you want hairy legs, don't shave them. Hashtag: common sense. And the phrase: 'anti-pervert' is as though it were some form of antibacterial cleaning product. It not only distorts women's own ideas of what is natural, but it patronises male behaviour. Obviously, not all men are leering perverts in the same way that not all women are innocent, but the way that each sex views each other has definitely become distorted.
Not only are we obsessed with how our body looks, we seem to be more interested in what everyone else thinks of our bodies. Another thing I've never really been convinced by is the infamous bikini wax. The third article discusses the health implications that occur as a result of removing hair from your nether regions. The removal of pubic hair has been around for centuries and is not entirely Western; there is evidence for it in ancient India, Greece and Egypt. I've personally never understood why 'shaven' is often considered to be 'natural' - did we miss a step in Darwin's theory of evolution? - and why 'shaven' nether regions have become sexually desirable and a hot topic for discussion. I'm not saying grow an Amazon bush down under, it's your body and your choices, but this is just a point to consider. To have pubic hair is a sign of sexual maturation - it's natural, but thanks to the porn industry and advertisements, to have hair down under is now considered to be 'unnatural.' The sexual desire of a hairless va-jay-jay can also be interpreted as a perversion; who else has no hair down under? Pre-pubescent females which is a serious sign that things need to be addressed.
So why do we feel the need to dehair ourselves? Is it to be appear more attractive to our partner? Be more sexually desirable? Or is it just a vanity issue that has been associated with ideas of 'femininity?' 

"Let's play a game..."

My GBF and I were walking through the town centre when we saw a young girl dressed to the nines with a look of sheer pain on her face as she braved it in a pair of blue killer heels. She'd paired her heels with a sharp military-style navy jacket with gold detailing, jeans, a gash of bright pink lippie, fake tan, outlined her peepers with eye liner and wore her hair down. A bit much for a Sunday stroll in the town centre?
Naturally we raised our eyebrows upon viewing this spectacle and thought: "Oh girrrrrl what are you doing?"
As we sat in a coffee shop we saw her again and the same comments came out. But this time, it made me think. Every time I pass a group of women or men, the conversation more or less is about "the God awful outfit he/she wore" or "the ugly other half" so-and-so is currently dating or shagging.

Positivity impacts us in every way possible.

As a Feminist, we always talk about how women should be standing together, supporting one another and not pulling each other down. The sad truth is that all too often, a woman's worst enemy is either herself or another woman. And that we all (men included) tend to bitch about each other another:
"Oh my God her hair's so greasy"
"She can't walk in those heels!"
"Urgh look at that cheap, tacky handbag!"
How many times have you said or overheard someone say that about a complete stranger (or friend) as they walk past? Having been in an all girls' school for 7 years, it is safe to say that I've heard things like this being said pretty much all the time. The girl with the 'nerdy' backpack, 'ugly shoes', bad haircut, acne scars or funny eyebrows. The odd thing is that, deep down, you hope it'll be different once you leave the bubble of secondary school and that things will change as people grow up, mature and are exposed to the 'real world.' Unfortunately it doesn't seem to die down but get worse as people acquire a vaster vocabulary and an overly critical eye. I've never fully understood why we do this to each other - do we think that we're part of Joan Collins' fashion police team?
Having thought about the way that my GBF and I reacted I said to him: "Let's play a game, where we have to say one nice thing about every woman who walks past us."
It was a bit difficult at first, but after a couple of people it became easier. We looked beyond their make-up, their clothing style and found ourselves saying: "She has such beautiful hair", "Her smile is lovely" and we both generally felt better having said these things. We will never be thin, voluptuous, tall, short, hot or sexy enough for every single person we meet. What matters the most is what you think of yourself. We do not tell ourselves enough that we look lovely today, our skin looks particularly glowy or dewy today or that "I'm having a damn good hair day!" We always find something wrong with ourselves. 9/10 it is something so minute that nobody else notices it.
Say something positive about people you see in the street, campus, school or at work. But also say something positive about yourself to yourself every day. 

The Frog and the Prime Minister

Recently I've been filling application after application in my pursuit for a job. Yes. Jobs - those things that not many of us have at this moment in time. I've filled out so many "About you" sections that the thought: "Oh God what do I say about myself!?" or "Help! I don't have a personality." now flashes before my eyes whenever I see that section. And most alarmingly: my brain has become saturated with company names and application form questions:
1. How would you describe your breakfast this morning?
(A). I would describe it as a challenge that will push my skills set, however I believe that my strong sense of tenacity, hard work and determination will result in me eating this piece of toast successfully thus relieving my hunger pangs.
It's also been quite difficult to decide what I want to actually do as a job - as a 7 year old I wanted to become Prime Minister and before that I wanted to be a frog. Obviously I can't become an amphibian nor PM but it still hasn't solved my dilemma of: "What do I want to do?"
The emphasis in that question is "I" - a lot of us don't listen to what we really want. If money weren't an issue, I would probably become a dreamy individual camping out under the stars or reciting Wordsworth's poetry in fields of barley at the top of my lungs. The sharp jolt of reality unfortunately tampers with the wispy dreams many of us may have so we have to be practical about things. We also underrate ourselves, our talent and what we are good at. There's nothing wrong with talking about your qualities and what makes you stand out from everybody else - I know many of us feel slightly embarrassed when it comes to talking about our achievements, strengths and good points. The phrase of: "I don't mean to sound big-headed, but...." - there should be no reason to add the "but" before stating your attributes. The "but" immediately creates a negative connotation and puts you down before you begin speaking. If I could tell people something about this scramble for jobs lark it is to be confident, believe in and assert yourself.  However, it's worth noting that a fine line exists between talking about your achievements and blowing your own trumpet.
When most people discover that I'm an English Lit student the first thing they say is: "So are you going into teaching?" or "That's a Mickey Mouse degree." (Don't hate. Appreciate.)
It is naive to think that people will stay in a career that is directly linked to their degree. We live in a world where now the idea of: "one job for life" is practically non-existent. You never know where life will take you or what opportunities will pop up. I know many people who are happy in jobs that have no relation to what they studied. The chances of people going through several jobs in a few years are now higher than ever: it is important to adapt to whatever situation you're put in. It is a reality that a lot of us have to accept and come to terms with - there is nothing wrong with going through more than one job. It does not make you any less valuable or worthless to someone who's been in their field for decades. In fact, don't even compare yourself to other people if it makes you feel like sh*t. Focus on your own thing, achieve it and savour the success it entails.
We are all making our own very different journeys that are shaped by our actions, thoughts and different modes of talent in a confusing misty maze we call life.   

The F-Word

This is something that has been on my mind for a very long time. Years in fact. I would describe this "F-Word" as the atomic bomb of social situations because when it is said to someone there is no comeback. It doesn't matter how streetwise and savvy you are - there is never a comeback. This "F-word" appears to be so embedded in our minds that unfortunately it's become an unconscious habit.
Fat. That's right: Fat. That is the "F-Word." It's unnerving how a small, three letter word can destroy someone's self esteem, confidence and self view. Being fat is apparently the worst thing that a woman can be and this is everywhere from everyday life to how women are portrayed in the media. In an argument if someone says: "Well, at least I'm not a fat b*tch" they automatically win the fight. I have seen friends who are a UK dress size 8 - 10 being silenced by this three letter bomb. Perhaps it should be called the "F-bomb" instead of the "F-word" because of its devastating impact. Now for some people, I can imagine them thinking: "If you know you're not fat why take it so personally?"
Whilst that is a valid and rational point it doesn't even cross the minds of women who have been called "fat" (usually) by other women. I believe that everyone should be reasonably healthy, clean and look after themselves - after all there are bigger problems in the world. But for many women, the idea of weight gain or any wobbly bits in the "wrong places" is enough to send them into panic. Many people are extremely sensitive about the way that they look and to be called "fat" is just another nail in the coffin of dwindling self-esteem. Many young women are brainwashed by the airbrushed images that bombard them on a daily basis with captions such as: "slender chic" and "gracefully thin" to vague terms such as "dangerously curvy" which does us no favours. How the hell can someone be "dangerously curvy?" I was not aware that having breasts, hips, a waist and thighs were associated with weapons of mass destruction.
These captions indirectly tell us that if you do not have these traits then you might as well be the fat b*tch whom no one will ever go near. This is wholly untrue! So what if some women are a UK dress size 16 or 18? If you are blessed to have all 4 limbs, good health and able to do everyday menial tasks surely we should be celebrating this. Who cares if you have a little bit of cellulite or a tummy? How many women in the world are left disabled from acid attacks, missing limbs or disease?
There is an overwhelming amount of negative attention placed on women's bodies which is affecting our self-esteem, confidence and most importantly self-respect. Our constant preoccupation with our bodies leads me to my next pet peeve: Diets. The diet industry in the UK in 2010 was estimated at £2bn and I am certain its value has increased. Slogans on television from the dieting world such as "bingo wings" "cankles" and the dreaded "muffin top" have entered our everyday language and way of thinking. These are terms often used by women to describe parts of their bodies that they dislike. Although many are said as "a joke" they conceal a deeper insecurity and preoccupation within women that the dieting industry does not wish to address. They just want your money and feed off millions of people's diet failures. A niggling worm sets into our brains which makes us turn down that gorgeous red dress we see in the shop window because: "I have thunder thighs." Wear that red dress, embrace it, work it and own it because no one else can do it as well as you do.
If you don't respect yourself or your body, who will?