My GBF and I were walking through the town centre when we saw a young girl dressed to the nines with a look of sheer pain on her face as she braved it in a pair of blue killer heels. She'd paired her heels with a sharp military-style navy jacket with gold detailing, jeans, a gash of bright pink lippie, fake tan, outlined her peepers with eye liner and wore her hair down. A bit much for a Sunday stroll in the town centre?
Naturally we raised our eyebrows upon viewing this spectacle and thought: "Oh girrrrrl what are you doing?"
As we sat in a coffee shop we saw her again and the same comments came out. But this time, it made me think. Every time I pass a group of women or men, the conversation more or less is about "the God awful outfit he/she wore" or "the ugly other half" so-and-so is currently dating or shagging.
As a Feminist, we always talk about how women should be standing together, supporting one another and not pulling each other down. The sad truth is that all too often, a woman's worst enemy is either herself or another woman. And that we all (men included) tend to bitch about each other another:
"Oh my God her hair's so greasy"
"She can't walk in those heels!"
"Urgh look at that cheap, tacky handbag!"
How many times have you said or overheard someone say that about a complete stranger (or friend) as they walk past? Having been in an all girls' school for 7 years, it is safe to say that I've heard things like this being said pretty much all the time. The girl with the 'nerdy' backpack, 'ugly shoes', bad haircut, acne scars or funny eyebrows. The odd thing is that, deep down, you hope it'll be different once you leave the bubble of secondary school and that things will change as people grow up, mature and are exposed to the 'real world.' Unfortunately it doesn't seem to die down but get worse as people acquire a vaster vocabulary and an overly critical eye. I've never fully understood why we do this to each other - do we think that we're part of Joan Collins' fashion police team?
Having thought about the way that my GBF and I reacted I said to him: "Let's play a game, where we have to say one nice thing about every woman who walks past us."
It was a bit difficult at first, but after a couple of people it became easier. We looked beyond their make-up, their clothing style and found ourselves saying: "She has such beautiful hair", "Her smile is lovely" and we both generally felt better having said these things. We will never be thin, voluptuous, tall, short, hot or sexy enough for every single person we meet. What matters the most is what you think of yourself. We do not tell ourselves enough that we look lovely today, our skin looks particularly glowy or dewy today or that "I'm having a damn good hair day!" We always find something wrong with ourselves. 9/10 it is something so minute that nobody else notices it.
Say something positive about people you see in the street, campus, school or at work. But also say something positive about yourself to yourself every day.
Naturally we raised our eyebrows upon viewing this spectacle and thought: "Oh girrrrrl what are you doing?"
As we sat in a coffee shop we saw her again and the same comments came out. But this time, it made me think. Every time I pass a group of women or men, the conversation more or less is about "the God awful outfit he/she wore" or "the ugly other half" so-and-so is currently dating or shagging.
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| Positivity impacts us in every way possible. |
"Oh my God her hair's so greasy"
"She can't walk in those heels!"
"Urgh look at that cheap, tacky handbag!"
How many times have you said or overheard someone say that about a complete stranger (or friend) as they walk past? Having been in an all girls' school for 7 years, it is safe to say that I've heard things like this being said pretty much all the time. The girl with the 'nerdy' backpack, 'ugly shoes', bad haircut, acne scars or funny eyebrows. The odd thing is that, deep down, you hope it'll be different once you leave the bubble of secondary school and that things will change as people grow up, mature and are exposed to the 'real world.' Unfortunately it doesn't seem to die down but get worse as people acquire a vaster vocabulary and an overly critical eye. I've never fully understood why we do this to each other - do we think that we're part of Joan Collins' fashion police team?
Having thought about the way that my GBF and I reacted I said to him: "Let's play a game, where we have to say one nice thing about every woman who walks past us."
It was a bit difficult at first, but after a couple of people it became easier. We looked beyond their make-up, their clothing style and found ourselves saying: "She has such beautiful hair", "Her smile is lovely" and we both generally felt better having said these things. We will never be thin, voluptuous, tall, short, hot or sexy enough for every single person we meet. What matters the most is what you think of yourself. We do not tell ourselves enough that we look lovely today, our skin looks particularly glowy or dewy today or that "I'm having a damn good hair day!" We always find something wrong with ourselves. 9/10 it is something so minute that nobody else notices it.
Say something positive about people you see in the street, campus, school or at work. But also say something positive about yourself to yourself every day.
2 comments:
Sweet advice :)
It is all too often our pride and ego that stops us from seeing the goodness in other people, or at the very least trying to find that goodness. Yes we are all too quick to judge just because that look does not fit into our criteria. If someone wants to dress "tarty" (excuse my lingo) so what. Growing up I came across goths, and I recall saying to myself, "cool, you look so contempt". We have been blinded in our own love, not the one that helps us see the good in ourselves and credit ourselves, but the one that masks our insecurities. I am not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination but in Sikh history, even Sri Guru Nanak found goodness in Kadha the man eater.
MJAR
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